Been a while since I’ve done one of these, but I think its worthwhile looking back and seeing where I’ve come from, and how much progress I’ve made:
Nowadays, the good outweighs the bad – something I never thought would happen.
I still have some extreme limitations, but I’m progressing at a steady pace. I’m doing some things which I never thoughts I’d be able to do again – but I’m frustrated, somewhat, by the list of things I still haven’t worked up the courage to do.
I’ve discovered that I can cope, far better, than I expected to do with our new living arrangements, and I think its probably good for me to look back and see what I’m managed to cope with in the first six weeks of Steve being ‘there’, while we’re still living ‘here’. It’s been a heck of a ride, and while none of these are life-changing, end-of-the-world scenarios – for me, they were huge steps in personal growth and proved my coping skills were better than I’d ever thought they would be.
1. Sorting out and dealing with the last of Nannsie’s belongings, including those 700-800 DVDs which turned out to be more like 1500-1600 DVDs. Coping with the many and abrupt mood swings she’s suffered since moving into the nursing home. Standing tough when she’s been misbehaving.
2. The fiasco over the non-working TV at the nursing home, and having to find a way of fixing the problem myself.
3. Attila (the mouse) – whom, I suspect, is still carousing around the place in his little camouflage outfit and Night Vision Goggles, avoiding the baits, traps and ultrasonic beepy things for all he’s worth as he continues to pillage the village for anything edible. Little bastard is still leaving ‘evidence’ of his residential status, and I’m still considering the Napalm option.
4. Bought herbs. Planted herbs. Kept herbs alive.
5. The time when I forgot to order any bread – but ordered enough eggs to keep the Western Australia chooks busy for a few days.
6. Organizing the masses of photos I’ve collated – with everything up to 1985 now organized (from the initial collection) and the next step is to start adding all of Nannsie’s, and the rest of mine from the multiple albums hanging around the place.
7. Bonnie’s Birthday. Jack’s Birthday. Adam’s 21st Birthday.
8. The great Centrelink debacle of 2016.
9. Days where I suspected the house was going to melt, because it was so hot outside.
11. Epic drives to the other end of the planet and back, to get Alex to TAFE.
12. Survived a rude ignorant driver who nearly pushed me back into not going out at all.
13. Angus’s depression over Steve being away, resulting in extra ‘neediness’ on a regular basis.
14. The great gastro debacle of 2016, which coincided with Adam’s 21st birthday.
15. The escalation of Nannsie’s phone calls from one or two a week, to one a day.
16. Back problems, calf problems, eczema problems, sleeping problems.
17. A house inspection by the owners of the house
18. Jack having a flat battery – which turned into a ‘How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb’ moment, as Jack, Adam and I combined our (limited) knowledge to find a solution.
19. An epic fight with Nannsie.
20. The park across the road catching fire yesterday afternoon… 200 metres away is way to close.
I think that’s just about everything, and looking back over this list, while none of these issues was world-changing – they have, in fact, changed my world, proving to me that I can do more than I think I can, and that with enough determination, I can overcome the worst of my anxieties, tamp down the panic attacks… and do what needs to be done.
And in the best news so far? My writing muse is singing softly in my ear, and words are being produced on paper (hypothetically, as I use the laptop and MS Word – but that doesn’t sound quite the same). And that, my friends, might be the best news I’ve had in a very long time.