As we approach the end of 2014, I decided to consider what I’d set for resolutions in this year, and see if I managed to accomplish any of them. Surprisingly, given that I suffered a breakdown just past the halfway mark of the year… I did okay.
End of year note: I didn’t procrastinate quite as much, but it still proved to be a biggie for me. Of course, doesn’t help that I had a breakdown, which I’ve discovered is a great procrastinating tool. So many new things to fret over… I’ve wasted hours! But on a bright side, I did manage to write more and spent less time worrying over the quality, as I worked towards quantity. Now I’ve learning to trust myself to put the words on paper, and go back and clean ’em up later…
End of year note: I did this! I stopped smoking around mid-year and despite every single thing that went wrong, I managed to refrain from taking up the habit again. But I must admit, there have been some days, when I desperately wanted the stress relief a cigarette would bring. But my husband and family have been so proud of my efforts, to give in now would disappoint them, so I’ve stayed on the straight and narrow. And besides… people who smoke stink!
End of year note: This has been a work in progress. To a certain extent, I’ve improved, and I have published another book this year, and have one ready for release in late January. But I still struggle with believing in myself. Visits to the
Evisceration Expert, er, psychologist may help this situation as I move into 2015. But I think, like all authors, I will never truly overcome the need to doubt myself. I have improved in believing that I can write first person… third person (my own personal bogeyman) is still proving harder.
End of Year Note: Success! I’ve found that as the year progressed, and my mental health declined, blogging was actually an outlet which proved therapeutic. I’ve always loved the written word over the spoken, and in the circumstances I’ve found myself in for the latter part of 2014, being able to ‘voice’ my thoughts, fears and progress through the written word has probably kept me from creeping any further into the depressive and dark world I found myself in. So blogging, and keeping family and friends up to date on Facebook have been a lifesaver for me. Long live social networking!
End of year note: Alright, this one has not worked out so well. Although admittedly, I did force myself into far more social contact situations in the earlier part of the year, the situation now is such that I’ve taken a gigantic leap backwards. A fear of social situations has seen me become more introverted than ever before since August, along with developing a debilitating anxiety over anything which involves leaving the house. But with support from family and friends, I’m making baby steps. So perhaps, for 2015, I’ll aim to get back to where I was, at the beginning of 2014. Anything beyond that, will be considered a bonus.