Posted in Ramblings

Editing is the bane of my life…

I haven’t been around much, I know.  I’d love to say that it’s because I’ve been busy editing for Book Three of The Nememiah Chronicles, but the honest truth is… I’ve been doing just about everything but editing.

Part of the problem is that while my  answer to the question “What do you do?” is to respond with “I’m an independent author.”, the fact of the matter is that I don’t really believe it myself.  Not really, truly, in my heart.  It feels like a role I’m playing, something I’m pretending to myself and those around me.  Part of that comes from years of being told being an author is not a ‘real’ job.  Part of it comes from my own insecurities.

And part of the problem, is that it’s incredibly hard to be ‘an independent author’ when I have so many other caps to wear.  

I’m a wife, a mother.  I’m the household cleaner, chef, accountant, taxi service.  I’m the school liaison officer and the social services officer.  I’m the counselor and social organizer.  I’m the nurse, the laundry, the gardener and the shopper.  I organize menus, homework, appointments.  

Add into the mix my involvement with the Ellenbrook Writers group, where I have made good friends and keep an eye on things to see that they’re running smoothly.

And the Ellenbrook Theatre Group, where I am the Secretary and I’ve taken on directing the mid-year play and the end-of-year pantomime.  (Nobody said I was sensible.)

Then add family and friends, and that fills in just about any spare time left.

The one, single, indisputable thing that makes me keep going – makes me believe I may one day be able to say I’m an independent author and not cringe?  

My husband. 

Even when I’m utterly overwhelmed with everything I’ve taken on, his steady, unwavering belief in me is a panacea to any doubt I may be struggling with.  His utter dedication to convincing me I can do ‘it all’ and his complete faith in my abilities is an example of the unconditional love he’s showered me with for nearly thirty years. 

So despite the doubts, the worry and the anxiety, I can honestly say that I can do it all and I will one day announce to people that I’m an independent author proudly, knowing  the one person most important to me in the world believes it.  

That’s a pretty cool place to be.

4 thoughts on “Editing is the bane of my life…

  1. You're definitely an author, and I'll tell you exactly why:

    Unlike “aspiring authors,” you've actually made the commitment to finish your work to your satisfaction. It's a hard lesson to learn, but I'm realizing personally that being an author isn't about book sales. It's about completing the job, no matter how long it takes.

    If you compare our books on Amazon, you'll find that I actually published mine three days after yours. You have two books out now, both in ebook and print, while my second is still in the editing stages, and isn't slated until later this year or early next.

    I wouldn't worry too much about not meeting your commitments. It seems to me that you're doing just fine juggling everything. Your husband's faith in you is justified.


  2. Hey D.S. Williams, decided to follow your tweet to the source and see what makes you tick. The fact that your book has a woman who talks to ghosts, and vampires and werewolves caught my attention. My books are paranormal mysteries with a woman who talks to ghosts and a vampire. No werewolves. 🙂
    This blog post sure rings a bell with me. I don't feel like an author either. And why? Because no publisher has picked me up. Because my sales aren't all that good. At all. I have three books on Amazon and working on getting the fourth this month, I hope.
    You are very lucky to have such a supportive husband. I don't have that support. My husband doesn't read, ever. Never has. He believes that since my sales aren't great, my books couldn't be good. No matter what people tell me. That's depressing and makes me mad. I'll show him!~
    I like J.B.'s comment, because it's not all about the money. It's what makes us tick. Mary E. Merrell


  3. Thanks, J.B., I really appreciate your comments. Sorry it's taken a while to reply, but between editing book three, directing a play with the local theatre company, four kids, two dogs and my husband – there's not a lot of time to spare. Good luck with your second book and hope it all goes well xxx


  4. Hi Mary, thank you so much for coming to visit my blog – I'd love to read your book sometime 🙂 Sounds like we're on the same sort of 'writing wavelength'. I'm so sorry to hear your husband isn't supportive, it's my one saving grace because my husband does have so much faith in me – more, in fact than I do.
    Don't give up on your dreams – it's a tough gig to sell books – I never attempted to find a publisher… a) because I wanted my book to remain firmly in my (control freak) hands and I wanted it published the way I felt it should be written and b) because I have never had enough faith in my ability to write to think a publisher would be interested. I find self-publishing is the best way for me and even if I never sell a lot of books, I can say I did it the way it was best for me.
    Tell your husband it is incredibly difficult to sell books – just look at the hundreds which are released every single day of the week! I work on publicity for at least one full day a week, getting my name out there via Facebook, Pinterest, Blogger and Twitter – it's frustrating to drag myself away from writing, but I know its an essential part. Do you use Twitter? I'm part of the Anything Goes group on Facebook and we all retweet each others tweets to get maximum exposure. It still doesn't mean I'm selling dozens of books, but it helps.
    Are you on Facebook? I'd be happy to make friends with you on there and swap ideas 🙂
    And remember, no matter what, you write because you enjoy it. Selling books is great, but ultimately if writing makes you happy, that's why you do it.
    D.S. Williams
    P.S. My author page on Facebook is at – send me a PM through there and I'll be happy to link you to my 'real' page 🙂


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