“Listen, Kyle, she’s beautiful, okay? But there can’t be anything between us. She’s an employee, and we come from different worlds.”
“You’re right. You come from the silver spoon variety. April comes from the salt of the earth kind that uses her college degree for the betterment of society by teaching underprivileged children and adults at the center three weekends a month, and after work, if she has the spare time.”
“What? What did you say?”
“For some reason, she likes to drive snobs around and be treated like pond scum, like the guy she was working for before she came to us.”
“What do you mean? Did he treat her badly?”
“Emily says that guy felt her up any chance he got until Sam threatened him,” he explains, leaning against the workbench. “But that didn’t last very long, and he was back at it about two weeks later.”
“Again with this, Sam!” I say to myself.
“According to Emily, he’s a total Adonis.” I stop pacing long enough to see him use the air quotes.
“What’s so funny now?”
“You should hear what she calls you.” He bends over in a full belly-laugh, and now I’m really pissed.
“What?” I ask, rolling my eyes, taking his bait. “What does she call me?”
“Oh, no. Emily swore me to secrecy. But I will tell you it was given to you the day she took you and Kate to the airport.” His hand smacks the counter before he bends over in laughter again.
“You better fucking tell me, Kyle.”
“I gotta go. I promised Emily a phone call tonight.”
He starts to leave but stops at the door, turns to me and bursts out laughing again.
The day she took me to the airport? What could it be? I was a perfect gentleman. While I’m racking my brain, trying to figure out what it could be, I hear a ruckus from the backyard. Someone is shouting outside.
Spending a few minutes in the quiet garage, I head out toward the pool and see Kyle hanging out over his balcony. He’s wearing one of Nicole’s wigs, and I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he looks.
“Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?”
What’s he doing quoting Shakespeare?
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
“What the fuck are you doing, Kyle?”
“Oh, Romeo, Romeo,” he says again before he goes into the house—laughing, of course.
I shake my head at his antics, and then it hits me like a load of bricks.
“Romeo? She calls me Romeo?”
I run up the stairs with the sole purpose of clobbering my brother when I pass my giggling mother on the landing.
“This is going to be fun,” she says.
I stop in my tracks and turn toward her. “What did you just say, Mother?”
She shuts her bedroom door behind her, and I hear her laughter as well as Kyle’s. I barge into his room, where he’s literally rolling on the floor laughing his ass off.
“Mom, Romeo hit me!”