“I hope that this date goes smoothly. I’ve wanted to go out with John for months. I’m still in awe that he finally asked me out.”
“I can’t wait to see him. I’ve heard rumors about how sexy he is.”
I fanned my face as if I were a Southern belle who needed to cool off. “They are all true.” I was slipping my feet into my shoes when I heard muffled yelling coming from the front of the house. “What is that?”
Lindsey and I rushed down the hallway toward the front door, and I peered out the window in time to see something land on John who was screaming in the driveway. I ran out the door to find out what was going on with Lindsey right behind me.
“John, what’s wrong?” I asked as I ran down the three steps of my porch.
I had nearly stopped in front of him when something hit my side.
I spun around and saw Tommy standing behind a bush, his face ashen as he looked at me. My eyes drifted to the ground, and I took in all the shattered eggshells and splatters of yolk. My gaze slipped up to John as my cheeks began to flame. His slacks were wet in two places, bright yellow yolk sliding over the slick fabric. I cringed as my eyes moved up his form and found another egg plastered to his suit jacket. When I finally flipped my eyes up to his, his face was bright red and his eyes were practically bulging from his head.
“What the hell is this? This is a thousand-dollar suit, and this kid just ruined it.”
“I’m sure it will come out at the dry cleaner’s. Just give me your suit, and I’ll get it cleaned for you.”
Lindsey rushed past me with a towel. “Here.” She thrust the towel at him, and he snatched it angrily from her and began to wipe the egg off his clothes.
I spun toward Tommy who was still hiding behind the bush. “Thomas Thaddeus Wagner! Get your butt in the house, now!” I seethed. Tommy began to scuttle around the bush toward the house, and I saw the pair of nylons that I had been looking for lying on the ground next to three whole eggs.
“You know this kid?” John asked as he flung a glob of egg off his pants leg that landed on my bare leg and oozed down. Gross.
“Yeah, that’s my son,” I said quietly as I tried not to barf from the slick sensation on my leg. The egg dripped into my shoe.
“Your son? He’s a monster! You never told me you had a kid!”
He tossed the towel to the ground and turned toward his car.
“Wait, John, I’m so sorry about this. He’s not normally this rotten.”
His laugh sounded evil.
“Can we reschedule?”
He scoffed, “You’re kidding!” He opened his door and pierced me with a look so angry that I wanted to shrink back from it.
“No, let me make it up to you.”
He shook his head and climbed into his car. “No way. I don’t do kids,” he growled and pulled his car door closed.
His engine roared as he started his BMW and put it into reverse immediately, backing out of my driveway like the proverbial bat out of hell. He didn’t even glance my way before he put his car in drive and took off down the street.
I watched him disappear and then scanned the area to see if anyone had witnessed my humiliation. I cringed as I saw Nolan kicked back on his front porch, beer in hand, and a smug smile over his lips. Damn!
Nolan lifted his beer to me in a toast and then took a healthy swig while I spun around and stomped back into the house.
“Tommy!” I screamed as I entered the foyer. I could have sworn I heard Nolan laughing behind me.