You realize you’ve been off the grid for while when you start getting ‘Are you okay’ messages from international friends because they haven’t heard from you – not even the generalized ‘Flick through Facebook and post a funny meme’ posts.
There are reasons for this, many of them too complex to go through here. But in light of this week being Mental Health Awareness Week, suffice to say many of those complex issues have a great deal to do with my state of mental health.
All writers, I think, suffer from a lack of belief in themselves. Self-doubt plagues us, fear of producing crap is a constant presence, and most of what we do write is dismissed as hopeless by that inner voice that taunts a writer.
And in my case – those persnickety mental health issues just add to the chorus of doom. Why bother writing anything, they ask. You’ve never been any good at anything. You have always been a failure. You suck at this and you always will.
Add to those voices, a group of major life changes, and its become a recipe for disaster.
My little family (the Darling Husband and Gang of Four) are facing major upheaval in the dying months of 2015. We’re looking down the barrel of significant changes to our lives.
And have I mentioned just how lousy I am with change?
Our options include a change of job, with the DH possibly leaving the Australian Air Force after twenty five years. That’s a pretty big change in itself. Or there’s the compulsory posting to the other side of the country if he remains in the services. Not something we, or the Gang of Four are thrilled about. (It was much easier to move, lock, stock and barrel when they were little, trust me.) Or there’s a position, some eighty kilometres from where we currently live, which may or may not be available which would require the DH to live away from home Monday to Friday because we don’t want the beloved daughter to have to change school for her final year. Or, worst case scenario, the DH takes the posting… and we see him about once every three months.
Consequently, D.S. Williams, Author is on extended hiatus, because with all that competing for room in my head, any characters and storylines haven’t got a hope in hell of getting through – until we know in which direction our lives are headed. 🙂